Back to
blogs
Assisted Living for Couples: Keeping Spouses Together
Options for married couples to stay together in assisted living.
Introduction
assisted living for couples is an important and evolving topic for seniors and their families. As the population ages, more married couples or long-time partners must make decisions about senior care. But the prospect of being separated due to different care needs is a major worry for many. Fortunately, assisted living for couples now offers a compassionate solution, allowing spouses or partners to stay together even as their individual care needs change over time.
In this guide, we'll explore options for keeping couples together in assisted living, how facilities accommodate different care needs, the costs involved, what to expect in practice, and tips for choosing the best fit for your family.
Key Features & Benefits of Assisted Living for Couples
1. Shared Apartments and Suites
- Stay Together: Most assisted living communities offer private or semi-private suites designed for couples, allowing spouses to live in the same room or apartment.
- Personalized Space: Couples can decorate with their own furniture and belongings, making their new residence feel like home.
2. Individualized Care Plans
- Tailored Assistance: Each spouse receives the level of care they need—whether that’s minimal help or more comprehensive support, in the same apartment.
- Flexible Services: Changes in health or mobility are accommodated without separating the couple.
3. Community and Social Engagement
- Shared Activities: Couples can join group activities, wellness programs, and social events together, maintaining their bond and social connections.
- Supportive Environment: Staff are trained to respect the couple’s privacy while also encouraging engagement with the community.
Level of Care
- Assisted living offers non-medical support such as help with meals, bathing, dressing, and medication reminders—ideal when one or both spouses need moderate assistance.
- Nursing homes (skilled nursing facilities) provide 24/7 licensed medical care, typically for couples with significant/chronic medical needs.
- Memory care units support residents with Alzheimer’s or other dementias, with special security measures and staff trained in cognitive disorders. Couples may be able to stay together if one has dementia, although policies and options vary.
Pros & Cons of Assisted Living for Couples
| Pros | Cons | |
|---|---|---|
| Shared Suite (Couples’ Apartment) |
- Stay together in same residence - Emotional wellbeing and companionship are preserved |
- May need to pay double occupancy fees - If care needs diverge, extra costs may apply |
| Separate Facilities/Rooms |
- Each spouse receives exactly the care they require - Flexible transitions if one needs more advanced care |
- Physical and emotional separation possible - Increased loneliness and distress for both partners |
Comparison: Assisted Living for Couples vs. Alternative Arrangements
| Feature | Assisted Living for Couples: Keeping Spouses Together | Alternative (Separate Living or Single Placement) |
|---|---|---|
| Monthly Cost | $4,500–$8,000 (varies by region, care level, and suite size; second occupant rates often apply) | $4,500–$8,500 per person (if both need care in distinct facilities or rooms) |
| Care Level | Customizable for each individual within couple’s suite (assistance with ADLs, medication, meal service, etc.) | Customizable but may require geographic separation for specialized needs (e.g., one in assisted living, other in nursing or memory care) |
| Independence | High—preserves autonomy and daily routines together | Medium to low—depends on care setting; separation may reduce sense of independence |
| Socialization & Mental Health | Excellent—companionship and social support of spouse, plus new connections with peers | Poorer if separated—risk of loneliness and depression; less shared daily experience |
| Flexibility of Care as Needs Change | Generally good; many communities can increase services or transition couple if one’s needs rise | Less flexible; transitions can lead to physical separation |
Costs of Assisted Living for Couples
- Base Package: Covers room and board, daily meals, housekeeping, basic utilities, group activities, and 24/7 staff support. For couples, a ‘second person fee’ is usually added (commonly $500–$2,000/month in addition to the base rate).
- Optional Services: May include additional care (mobility/bathing), medication administration, transportation, physical therapy, memory care upgrades, laundry, and salon services. These are generally billed à la carte, tailored to each spouse’s personal needs.
- Entry or Community Fees: One-time fees may apply ($1,000–$5,000 is typical) to secure your suite.
- Insurance & Benefits: Some long-term care insurance policies and Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits may help offset costs, though Medicare does not cover assisted living room/board.
Estimated National Median (2024): Private one-bedroom assisted living for couples: $5,000–$7,500/month, depending on services and location.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q: What is assisted living for couples?
A: Assisted living for couples refers to senior living accommodations and services that enable spouses or long-term partners to remain together even if they require different levels of daily assistance (such as help with bathing, dressing, or medication). Couples usually share a suite or apartment and receive individualized care from trained staff.
Q: How does it compare to alternatives?
A: Unlike a traditional nursing home or separate placement, assisted living for couples allows spouses to continue daily routines together, maintain their emotional connection, and avoid the isolation often experienced when separated for care reasons. Alternatives can mean higher costs, more logistical challenges, and often a loss of companionship.
Q: What are the typical costs?
A: Costs range widely depending on geography, facility reputation, suite type, and care needs. Expect monthly prices of $4,500–$8,000 for couples, with ‘second person’ fees as an add-on. Some services such as extra care or memory support may increase the monthly bill.
Q: Is this option right for families?
A: Assisted living for couples is ideal if both partners value togetherness and at least one needs daily support, but do not require continuous medical or hospital-level care. It is also beneficial for maintaining emotional health and social activity. However, if one spouse needs advanced or acute medical care, alternative arrangements like nursing homes may eventually be necessary.
Q: Are any services covered by insurance?
A: Medicare does not pay for room and board in assisted living, but it may cover certain medical services delivered onsite. Long-term care insurance or VA benefits can sometimes help with costs. Always review your specific policies and benefit plans to understand coverage.
Conclusion
Assisted living for couples gives aging spouses the invaluable opportunity to stay together during later years, ensuring both receive appropriate care while enjoying the closeness and comfort of their partnership. As care needs evolve, experienced staff, tailored care plans, and thoughtful facility design all collaborate to support healthy relationships and vibrant senior living.
Research, touring several options, and asking detailed questions will help you find the best fit for your family. Explore our expert resources or visit the National Institute on Aging for more insight into all aspects of senior living and care.
